New perspective on a reread...

Anyone who knows me knows that I read a lot.  I try to read as many books as I can get my hands on, and I especially like reading something that I've never read before.  But sometimes, you can get so much out of a reread.  I just finished rereading Evvy's Civil War by Miriam Brenaman, and I think the experience taught me as much, or more, about myself than about the time period.  Don't get me wrong, it is a well-written, well-researched book, but I had read it before, so many of the facts had stayed with me.  However, the true intent of the book, perhaps, had been lost on a younger me.  I remember bemoaning the lack of romance, but now I think it was expertly done.  It tells the story of a girl becoming a woman just as the Civil War is brewing.  You see how she hates all the restrictions placed on her simply because of her gender.  Her mother was raised as a Quaker, and her father is primarily an academic, so up to this point, her view of a woman's role was rather skewed, but now she sees the reality.  At one point, she talks to her cousin about their mutual apathy towards children, and this time I can completely relate.  I'm sure at the time I first read it, I simply thought she was being immature.  She faces a lot of the same sorts of realizations about her family as Susan did in The Last Silk Dress by Ann Rinaldi, but the effect it has on her is different.  She still hates slavery, and what it has done to people she cares about, but she has visited her Northern cousins and has a broader perspective of the world; she doesn't blame it all on Southern Corruption, as Susan does.  I guess there isn't a lot more I can go into without revealing too much, but I have to say that I enjoyed watching her find her place in the world, and come to terms with what it meant for her future.  It doesn't glorify what I think of as the 'feminazi' perspective, but it does make me wonder if I would have liked being a woman in the past as much as I have sometimes thought.  I know I don't particularly like being told what to do, so maybe I would have ended up like Evvy.

When I grow up, I want to...

This semester in school I am taking a Career Explorations class.  You briefly touch on your strengths, and how they are the tools to reach our goals, and then you start the "Road Trip Nation" program that started from one TV show and has turned into a movement.  I didn't know anything about the show before this class, although I think I vaguely remember hearing about it a few times before.  The original concept was just to talk to professionals that have achieved success in their lives, and ask them how they did it; how did they choose, how did they keep going when they ran into obstacles, etc.  Today the theme was "falling asleep at the wheel," but as most things go, what struck me from the interviews we watched was a different underlying message: Assume success, commit yourself 100%, do what you are passionate about, no matter how scary it is.

For most of my life, I have been so afraid of failing, that I don't fully commit myself to anything.  If I wasn't really trying, I can't really fail.  I also avoid trying anything that I am emotionally invested in, because I know that failure would hurt even more.  This might help me avoid perceived failures, but it also means that I am avoiding true success.  I want to succeed, at whatever I do, but I am afraid of committing to anything.  It is time to work on that.

To that end, I want to start working on something that Kelly Hoffman suggested to me a few years ago: a book blog.  I may not be able to get a job at Barnes and Noble (no matter how many times I apply), but I can still put my knowledge to good use.  I am hoping to target this toward adult readers who want to read young adult books, or who are trying to find books for their children.  At this point, I was thinking I would just start with the books on my shelf, and write reviews of them.  As I read more books, I can add those, and if I start making money from the blog, I could use some of that money to get even more, etc.  If I can make this work, I would be making money by reading books and talking about them, pretty much the thing I love the most!  The criteria I was thinking I would review them on is: sexual content, adult themes, character development, plot, language (swearing), and writing (how well written it is).  I was thinking I would do a general sort of review for the story and how engaging it was etc, and then also a parents guide and recommendation.  I would love any thoughts or feedback on that!  This could take a long time to even get started, but hopefully I can get it ready for the public by the end of summer, maybe?  I mean, I have school and taekwondo, I totally need more!

Speaking of school...I like both of my classes, but I am not sure I am passionate about accounting.  Of course, I don't think I need to be passionate about a job to be satisfied with it, so I will likely work on my certificate.  The class is super easy for me, and I like the organization, and how clear-cut it is; I think I could enjoy an accounting job well enough.  We will see as I keep going with this class. :)

Marriage is...taking too long to get here.

I was just looking at pictures of my adorable newborn niece, Ivy, and saw the link to my blog on my sister's site. Well, it has been a long time since I posted anything, so I decided to do so.  I think the title of previous recent blog is rather entertaining, seeing as I am soon to be married.  I have moved on from Bones, and am now watching My Little Pony with my fiance.  I have moved on from school as well, and am working as a receptionist.  Life is good, and it is entirely due to my amazing fiance.


We have a rather ridiculous amount in common, and while not all of it is the best things to share, like depression, it does make it even easier to understand each other, and that understanding is invaluable.  He is what gets me through most of my days, since work is quite stressful (an understatement).  I am able to leave work, go to his place, and with just a big hug and a few sentences set my day back on track.  My birthday was yesterday, and once again the pressures at work left me in tears.  I arrived at his apartment to find a candle-lit dinner on the table.  I tried to pull it together, and, well, being me, didn't succeed.  He asked me what was wrong, listened to me complain, and basically reminded me that other people don't determine my worth.  Being a pleaser, I will probably need to be reminded of this daily...


It's amazing how much things have changed since my sister got married.  I have a free wedding website, and ordered my announcements through email.  We can order flowers and decorations online...as well as anything else we can think of.  I worked at Kohl's for a few months, and I only ever saw two or three people registering in the store; only a handful of the staff even knew how to do it.  We wanted to register in the store - you get to play with the scanning gun, after all - but after complications with the equipment, decided that online really is quite convenient.  Everything is so...digital these days.  I remember when my sister got married, and we went to a photographer's studio to see samples of their pictures.  These days, many wedding photographers don't even have studios.  They just have websites.


We only have a little over a month left, but that, of course, seems too long.  I am tired of being a fiance.  I want to be a wife!


We are measuring time by milestones.  My birthday, Thanksgiving, SW:TOR early access...Yes we are very excited for the release of a new computer game.  Star Wars: The Old Republic.  For those who don't know what this is...it takes place thousands of years before any of the movies, and is about a war between the Sith Empire and the Old Republic.  You can choose to play one of four classes from either side, choose your species, make choices for either dark side or light side...basically, it's fabulous.  We played a bit a few weeks ago in one beta weekend, and get to play again this weekend.  Then only a few weeks and it's officially released! :)  Yeah...we're excited.  Thanksgiving is our next milestone, but we are more excited for the beta, and then the early access, then release...Christmas is even kind of an afterthought.  Then, we get married.  Which is what we are both the most excited about.  Or so Isaac assures me.


Ok, so that was all a little scattered, but if know me, you know that that is how my mind works.  I didn't say a whole lot about our courtship or anything, because that's all on our website.  So check it out: alyssaandisaac.ourwedding.com

Marriage is...having someone who will slap your enemies and then toss their dead bodies out of airplanes.

Quick Thought...or two:

I've been watching a lot of Bones recently.  I find it quite cathartic.  I relate to Brennen in a way.  She's very smart, and very different from everyone around her, which is what makes her successful in her job, but also creates a distance between her and most of the people around her.  Obviously, she's both smarter and more socially awkward than me, but it seems like she's less isolated than I sometimes feel.  She has the rest of her team, that while all different, have strong ties to each other.  They frequently prove that they are willing to risk anything for each other.  I'll never be a part of a team solving crimes, and I never expect to be a part of a group of people that would HAVE to risk their lives for each other, but I still envy that bond.  If people as totally backward as Brennen or Zack (I'm still watching season 2) can have that...why can't I?  

I also love that Bones and Booth are so different, have such huge differences in their beliefs and outlooks on life, and yet respect each other...everyone should treat each other that way.  Who cares if we see the world differently?  We still live in it together!

FYI - the title is a quote from the episode "the Spaceman in a Crater"...out of context it is particularly funny, I think.  In case you're curious, it's actually Bones' last line in the episode.

Boys give me Shingles!

So it's been a while since I posted...

A couple weeks ago my roommates had a "Pie Party."  Basically, we had a bunch of people over to eat a bunch of pies, and it was fun.  We ate pie, hung out, and played Mario Cart on Game Cube.  Towards the end, Lindsay's friend Chris came, and brought a friend named Adam. I later learned that Chris intended to set him up with Lindsay.  Unfortunately, he liked me better.  I don't really understand where that came from.  I talked to him for a total of five minutes, about the most basic things..you know, name, what you do...yeah, that's about it.  He followed me into the kitchen when I went to make myself some chili (for those of you who are worried about my eating in front of guests...most people had left, and we were kinda hoping the rest would too...), and asked me out.  I won't go into the details, but suffice it to say, he got pretty excited when I didn't shoot him down right away, and upped the ante immediately.  I'm not sure what he would have settled on; dinner, a movie, ice cream, and a bunch of other things were all mentioned...Somehow I ended up giving him my number. He called the following Monday, but I was currently talking to my mom and didn't answer.  It was a restricted number anyway, and I didn't know it was him until I checked my voice mail.

The following day, Tuesday, I went to Crown Burgers between classes.  I noticed the guy getting his order before me, like anyone does, but didn't think anything of it.  After I got my fries and Sprite, I sat in my usual spot and pulled out my book.  I did notice the guy before me was sitting with some girl, and figured they must have come in together.  In retrospect, maybe she was a victim like me.  I was there for about 15 minutes or so when I look up to see this same guy standing next to my table.  He asks in broken English if he could sit down.  I didn't see a real reason to say no, so the next thing I know I'm being treated to his life story, and his testimony, and his goals in life.  Of course, he also asked me about each of those things as well.  He wanted to hear about my childhood, and my testimony, and everything.  One of the first things he told me was that he was from Peru.  One of the last things he told me was his name, Martin.  He told me all about how he intended to treat his future wife, always pointing at me when he mentioned her...by this point I was a little freaked out.  When he asked if he could see me again, I just said that I usually go there between classes on Tuesday and Thursday, and if he wanted to meet me there again, he could.  I didn't intend to go there again for a while, but at least I was being honest and not totally shooting him down, right?  Well, here's where he says that he lives in Provo and doesn't get up to Salt Lake very often, so it would be better if we could get together on the weekend...and I'm such a sap, and unable to say no, that I ended up giving him my phone number, and email address...and yes, even my address....although I didn't say what apartment number...and it is protected by an access code.  When we left, I had the opportunity to be reminded of what I only noticed in passing before...that he's almost a whole head shorter than me.  He also talked about how he didn't think it was a coincidence that we met, and how excited he was to see me on Friday.  I was really wishing I had gone to Subway for a salad about then. 

Martin started texting me after that...and I got another call from Adam while I was in class the next day, and was unable to answer.  It was about this time that I really started getting concerned about the weird pain in my left leg, and the strange rash I had...I did some online research and all I could find that seemed to match was Shingles.  After talking to mom, who said that you want to get in right away with shingles, I made an appointment for Thursday.  After a ridiculous amount of time spent lost on the University of Utah Campus, I made it to the doctor.  Sure enough, I had shingles.  The doctor asked if I was particularly stressed, and all I could think about was the guys asking me out that I didn't want to go out with...let me tell ya, that stresses me out plenty.  So basically, I blame my shingles on unwanted attention from boys.

In case you were wondering, I did manage to get out of my dates with both of them...by an excuse to Martin via text, and not returning Adam's calls...I am admittedly a total chicken.  I'm also happy to say that my shingles are almost gone after a week on my anti-viral meds.  I haven't been back to Crown Burgers though...Salads are better for me anyway, right?

Classes - Week One

So my first week is over.  Hooray for that!  Part of the adventure last week was talking to the powers that be at the school about what classes I would be able to take.  I was able to be put on the waiting list for my drafting class, and talked to the head of my department about being able to take a historical architecture and furnishings class concurrently with one of it's prerecs.  I was feeling pretty optimistic in all going in.

Initially I was signed up for three classes on Monday and Wednesday, with only one of those three (computers) on Friday, one class on Tuesday and Thursday early afternoon, and one class Thursday night.  I was on the wait list for a class (drafting) Tuesday night, and was waiting to be allowed to sign up for a class on Tuesday/Thursday instead of the one I was signed up for (historical furnishings). (wow that was a long run-on sentence...sorry about that.)  I got to school early on Monday so I could get books, talk to Brother Hunsaker (the head of my department) and a few other things.  I hadn't yet been able to sign up for ID 210 (hist. furn.) and wanted to check in with him.

From that point on, everything went great...mostly.

A summary of the classes I no longer am taking:

COM 122: I never actually went to this one.  I dropped it as soon as things worked out with my Interior Design classes.

LE 100: This is what I call a Poodle class.  For those who don't understand that...well, it's not really important...the point is that it was going to drive me absolutely insane.  The first class period, my second class on Monday, the teacher went over what we were going to be doing, the assignments and subjects, and by the end I was a little overwhelmed with the amount of busy work I would have to do for this class that was supposed to teach me how to be an effective student.  After class I talked to the teacher - who seems perfectly nice, by the way - and asked her if it would still be a good idea for me to take this class if it was just going to cause me even more anxiety.  I don't think she really got it, but she said that she would be perfectly willing to work with me on when I could turn things in and so forth, so I left thinking maybe I could make it work...MAYBE this would be good for me.  Wednesday we started in on covering some of the material, and I decided I couldn't stand to talk about the most effective way to be someone I have already tried and failed to me.  I am NOT that type of student, and I never will be.  When I try, I end up in my bed with a book, or the covers over my head.  So I dropped that on Thursday night, after dealing with the guilt of dropping the class the school 'highly recommended' I take.

The classes I now have:

IT 102: this is the basic computers class that everyone in the school has to take, or test out of.  At the beginning of each semester you have the option to take what they call 'Challenge Exams' for the class.  You can choose to challenge the entire class, and therefore earn a Pass for the class, without having to take it, or you can challenge it a module at a time.  I elected to do the second option.  This way, I still have to go to class, and I still get a grade, and the credit hours in my schedule, but I don't have to do any of the assignments for any module I pass out of.  There are three modules, and you can only challenge the module as it starts, so I just passed out of the 'living online' module.  Now I go to class and answer questions that others have, leaving the teacher free to continue her lecture.  It's pretty awesome; I started my role as 'mentor' on Friday.  I'm really liking this arrangement.  I take this M/W/F at 11:10 (my earliest class :) )

REL 333: Teachings of the Living Prophets.  This is, obviously, my religion class.  It's pretty self-explanatory.  I have to write a short summary of each talk we discuss, as well as a few other smallish projects throughout the course of the class.  It'll be pretty easy, and I love the topic, so I'm optimistic.  This is M/W at 1:30.

ID 210: Historical Furnishings and Architecture.  The topic of this class is also pretty clear.  There are a TON of projects, and lots of work...but the subject matter is one of my favorites, and the teacher's pretty cool, so I think I can tough it out.  This is T/TH at 2:40

ID 125: Drafting.  I am super stoked about this class, actually.  It's been the one with the most supplies required, and that makes it super expensive, but I love drafting already, and the teacher seems like a blast.  She's super funny, and she'll let us out early a lot of the time...which is good because the class is scheduled for Tuesdays from 6:00 to 9:00 PM, and I have to take public transportation home.  It's been good so far...no one too scary.  Most of the people who HAVE talked to me seem to be at least as concerned with my safety as I am.

ID 104: Principles of Design.  This class is rather boring...kinda a review seeing as I've taken three Interior Design classes before this.  It's Thursdays from 5:00 to 7:00 PM.  The teacher is pretty nice, and although there's lots of work...it isn't TOO hard...we'll see.

That's my classes.  Feel free to refer back to this from time to time to understand what I talk about it later blogs...I'll try to keep you filled in on what I'm doing in my classes, and what I think about it...ahh a place to vent or enthuse.

Goodnight, dear void!

Housing Pain

So it's been a week since I left home for school.  What a week it's been.  Admittedly, the first few days went completely as planned.  We arrived at Diana's in time for dinner Monday night, and stayed there through Tuesday night, getting in dental appointments while we were there.  Ah, the dentist.  

The adventure truly started when we got to Salt Lake.  We drove down on Wednesday, heading straight to the place we had picked online for me to be living.  From outside, it seemed charming, and looked to be in a fairly typical neighborhood, like any neighborhood you see in Provo, actually.  No one was there when we got there, and while we were waiting for the owner to meet us, we happened to see one of the other girls get home.  She let us in and showed us where I would be staying.  

What can I say about what we found?  Well, we went immediately up to the room I'd be in, and found that it was a small room in the attic, with my bed in the dormer window, which could be kind of fun, but there was also another girl in the tiny room, and only one VERY small closet.  We were then told that the bathrooms were both on the second floor, and that I'd be in the larger one.  We went down to investigate.  Unfortunately, the only doors from the hall opened into bedrooms.  You had to go THROUGH one of the bedrooms to get to a bathroom.  OK...so we headed downstairs.  There WAS a bathroom on the main floor, well, a half bath anyway...at least I wouldn't have to wake anyone up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom...I'd just have to risk two flights of stairs in the dark.  Which would have been dangerous for me, apparently, since I managed to fall down the stairs the first time I went down them...almost taking out mom in the process.  I still have the bruises.

To top it all off, the lack of storage room for all the residents made for a rather...chaotic atmosphere.  Since there wasn't anywhere to put things, it all seemed to end up on the floor in various states of messiness.  Mom described it as saying it looked like a hurricane had blown through.  That might not have been too inaccurate.  Although it was dryer than a hurricane would leave things.  Suffice it to say, we decided that we would have to find me somewhere else to stay.

That was Wednesday, and I won't bore you with the details of the hunt, but let me just say that living in the Plaza hotel with a bunch of freshman girls was looking mighty good.  We found a few apartments that I could live in, but they would be unfurnished and I would be living alone...not to mention that they were at least twice as much as I would have been paying at the original place.

In the meantime, we had gotten a call from Joannie, and it turns out she had left some clothes at her friend Joe's house that she had just gotten back from visiting in the area.  We gave him a call and decided to meet up by the Ikea.  When he heard of our predicament, he looked through our selection of housing and told us that I shouldn't live at any of them.  That was discouraging, but he HAD been a fireman in Salt Lake, so he would have seen what happened in these areas.  He was very helpful, but we were pretty much back at page one.

Eventually, we found the bulletin board at the school, and called people looking for roommates.  It was here we found the PERFECT place.  I'm living in a high-rise apartment building in a nice part of the city.  I have my own room and bathroom, and the best roommates I could have hoped for.  The rent is only slightly higher than what I was going to be paying at the scary place, and EVERYTHING I need is within walking distance, or along the Trax line, which is only a block away.  The only catch is that the LDSBC ward that I would go to starts at 9, and Trax wouldn't be able to get me there til nearly 10.  This week I went with my roommates to their ward, which is definitely an option, but I still feel like I should check out the ward for my school, so I'll look into finding a ride.

Whew, I'll leave it at this for today.